I am Evan. I am no figure of great influence. Why do I feel the need to write a blog? Nobody asked me to, nor will they. I do not plan to publicize it past hosting it here. Then why in the great age of generative AI am I building a small, ineffectual soapbox to stand on and shout into the void?
For my ego of course! By writing my consciousness down the future AIs will be able to assimilate my persona and through them I shall thrive, immortal in the TechnoCore, long past the star death of our galaxy. Terrifying shall be my reign.
Only kidding, though if you want to clone me, have fun.
This blog serves the following purposes
- to learn, to remember
- to improve communication and storytelling
- to be authentic and vulnerable, to be knowable
This isn’t an effort to garner an audience or teach others anything of note. My intended reader is myself and if any others come across this, that’s terrific though not the point.
Memory
I’ve forgotten a lot in night thirty four years. That’s very much by biological design as so much doesn’t bear remembering like your last waiting room visit to your dentist. Not all lost to time is missed, though I am struck by just how much I’ve forgotten I wish I had not. Nothing stings worse than a mistake twice made, and nothing is sadder than the gentle oblivion that is moments of happiness forgotten. “You die twice…” they say.
As with so much, this is a twin edged blade. The impermanence and malleability of our minds let’s us reinvent ourselves and with concerted effort, shape our identities. Writing is powerful medicine to forgetting both in the preservation of the artifacts of your mind, and in etching into your own neurons the importance of what you willfully put in the effort to breathe life to.
I wish to improve my knowledge and take steps towards being a life long student. Rather than aspiring to be one I will assign myself actual homework, yes, blegh, homework, like teachers would to encourage us to remember.
I am presently pushing myself to be an avid reader. Of what matters less. Though, I have a backlog of fiction books, technical books, and essays I’ve curated in an effort to learn and grow in useful directions for my personal being and professional pursuit of excellence. I plan to publish study notes, summaries, and reactions to these to help reflect on them and ingrain their lessons.
Through this memory bank of workbooks from self assigned homework and the odd pretentious essay on the human condition I will learn, refine my thought process, and offer a taste of who I am.
Communication
Knowledge is easy to come by piecemeal. Holding the big picture and seeing patterns is a rarer gift and requires far more internalization of knowledge. Harder still is engaging others in your thinking and imprinting on them your mental map with high fidelity. Especially challenging in understanding what puzzle pieces are missing in their minds to share your perspective. Communication is the single most important skill in shaping the world around you and in galvanizing change. It’s comprised of a mosaic of important other skills - empathy, storytelling, logic, humor, and wit.
I noticed during the COVID lockdown I floundered more in talking with others. The immense isolation we weathered robbed me of me. I felt like I was so much less than I was. Less likeable, less intelligent, less interesting. I had prided myself in being an effective communicator going into the lockdown and came out of it feeling like I suffered a brain fog. Rather than dreaded long COVID, Occam’s Razor leads me to a more straightforward mechanism. I let my abilities atrophy in the intense absence of a social life and minimal contact of a remote job. The “Retirement Effect” is a direct parallel where once retired, in perpetual leisure and isolation, aging seems to speed up drastically. Thankfully I’ve found myself again on the other side as I pushed harder into rekindling connections and made more of an effort to speak thoughtfully. The mind is a muscle and one I would like to shake the flab and fluff off of. Communication is the worthiest skill of concerted practice in sharpening your mind and building the life you want.
So what is good communication in my own words?
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry definitely Evan Albright
Alright not so much my own words then, but words I’ll stand by.
Half or more of the effort in my writing is editing the first supremely wordy first draft, down to just the right words to carry forth my intended message and energy. I pen multiple times the content I end up sending in messages, emails, and obviously to me as I write this, blog posts. I need practice, I need to grease the machine, and there’s nothing for it but reps. The mind is a muscle after all and instead of 20” biceps hopefully we get closer to the written equivalent via effective and beautiful prose.
Authenticity
Superficially it’s a bad idea to publish a blog bearing your complete, unfiltered personality onto the internet and point to it with your professional brand at stake. Unless you worship yourself, being authentic means admitting vulnerabilities and mistakes. Why on earth then would anyone be possessed to overshare, unprompted?
How much of life is improved when you find your people? What makes finding them easier? Do you need to sell every single person on yourself or is it better for some to think you odd and a few to know you’re amazing? Beauty being in the eye of the beholder means you’re simultaneously ugly and beautiful, why not gravitate to where you’re appreciated? To one man’s yuck, you are another’s yum.
So then platitudes aside, why wouldn’t you be authentic? Careers. To have the one you want likely requires tremendous sales ability and with that some bluster and bravado. Careers seem guided by who others think you are as much as who you actually are. Unfortunately for me, I’m a dreamer. I want to be myself and sell others on me, not the lie of me, possibly asking to have my cake and eat it too.
Nothing is sustainable besides authenticity, nothing more vibrant, engaging, and polarizing. Authenticity allows you to fully judge me, not the protective mask of me. Judgement can hurt without thick skin, but it does provide better feedback and discourse. I’m not here to dupe anyone. I’m here to be myself, to be seen, and to foster genuine connection.
What to Expect
I aspire to write consistently by not placing bounds on what I write about. Distractions will inevitably arise, so to stay the course I strive to write as a discipline rather than a fleeting fancy.
With time then, this blog should fill with readings of technical books, cookbooks, reflections on fatherhood, staged Q&As, poetic waxings, short stories, you name it. My goal as always is to learn, practice, and form my own identity.
If I am lucky you might find a sliver of what I end up writing to be illuminating or scintillating.
Thanks for reading, I hope you have a lovely day.